just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
