this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
