if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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