all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
