You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
