Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
