Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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