Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
