How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
