Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
