he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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