pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
