I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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