i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He shit in the fireplace
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
