no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
