so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
