Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
