Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
