I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you have to choose: penises or morals?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
