I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
