this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
