Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
