As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i will never coherently bang her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
