they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
