ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The power of my boobs compel you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
