DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
