i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
