is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
