Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize