spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
