All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
