wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
