just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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