I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
