Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
