I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He passed out mid-signature
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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