If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
