Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
