my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
