Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
