I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
