I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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