Little spoons don't ask big questions
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
