Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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