talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
