Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
