Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm really into asian looking animals
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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