Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
