Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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