Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
