i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
