Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
