How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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