I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
