Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
