porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
