I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
