I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Someone signed my nipple.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
